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Luv Coach Q&A: Walk Away!

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I've been dating this man for almost a year and we have a big age gap, I'm 22 and he is 35. He just told me he is seeing someone else as well as me and I just want to know if I should move on or not because I really fell in love with him!
Nettie

It's extremely painful when your partner callously disrespects your love and dishonors the relationship. It is essential at the start of a relationship to state your requirements (e.g. fidelity) so that both partners know the boundaries and the ramifications of breaking those requirements. He has chosen not to value you or your relationship, so if you choose to stay with him, then you are telling the world that you don't value yourself. It's time to walk away from this man, and I know it's not easy. I know that you love him very much, but if you allow others to mistreat you, you will lose sight of who you are and end up in an unhealthy situation. Drop this guy so you can make room in your life for other relationships and eventually your one great love. Don't settle for someone who doesn't think you're worth being his one and only.



Ready to meet that special person? Join Coach Brody for Improvdates.com


I have been married for ten years and we have one son together and he has a set of twins from a previous relationship. In the past I confronted him about sleeping with a childhood associate, and recently -- four months ago -- I found out about a three year affair with a younger lady. I have spoken with the lady and it was not pleasant. I am still in the marriage, and he claims he didn't marry me to get a divorce, but I feel he is still having an affair with the younger woman. I am so hurt, confused, disgusted, and I can't get it off my mind. HELP!!!
Vikki


Your husband claims that he didn't marry you to get a divorce, and yet he is doing everything to lead to that inevitable demise. It's not enough to say your marriage vows, you have to live and honor them. You have been too easy on him and let him get away with treating you poorly. After the first transgression, you both should have sought couples counseling to address the issues in your marriage. Since there were no consequences the first time, your husband feels that he can do it again and get away with it. Trust your intuition if it's telling you that he is still cheating, and ask yourself what kind of marriage you want to be in and what type of example you are setting for your son. Your husband isn't going to change if there aren't any repercussions for his behavior. You won't be able to get it off your mind until you have done something to change the course of your marriage. Once again, you will have to confront him, and this time you will have to take action.




Rebecca Brody is a relationship coach in New York City. For free relationship advice contact Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or go to www.TheLuvCoach.com. Ready to meet that special person? Come join Coach Brody for an evening of Improv Speed Dating- Improvdates.com

 

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