Filed under: Celebrity Love, Relationships, Weddings, Marriage, Love Analytix
Last week, VH1's newest lineup of reality television shows included the first episode of 'LaLa's Full Court Wedding,' starring former MTV VJ LaLa Vasquez,31. The 30-minute show takes you behind the scenes of Vasquez's life in the weeks leading up to her wedding and costars her adorable son and her now-husband, Carmelo Anthony, 26 of the Denver Nuggets.
While audiences were initially able to witness the mayhem that Lala and many brides experience planning a wedding, we were also introduced to Vasquez's celebrity friends. One of which, was singer/actor Tyrese Gibson, 31, made a lunch date cameo on the first episode. In probably one of the more entertaining segments of the show, Gibson calmly called LaLa out on some of her choices. After complimenting her on being a great mother and girlfriend to a NBA player, he questions whether or not she undesrtood the work it requires to master being a wife.
"It's one wedding, one situation, one time.....are you a wife? Why are you not hanging out with married women who have been married for a long time? You can't be in the spirit of being married, hanging out with a bunch of single people. I'm not telling you to get rid of all of your friends but they are not in the same space that you are in," Tyrese told her.
LaLa felt the epiphanic slap and her response was, "After thinking about everything Tyrese said, he does make a lot of sense on lot of things. And marriage is definitely a big deal."
Is it a big enough deal to stop hanging around your single friends?Mr. Coca-Cola has a point, but his delivery was very extreme. When men or women decide to make the transition from single life to martial bliss they should be aware that some things will have to change. One of which, depending on who you are and who your friends are, may include changing who you hang with and who you choose to turn to for advice.
The single life brings a lot of relationship drama, instability and lessons learned. Most of us experience that period of our lives with friends that are there for us during our relationship highs and lows. Therefore, it isn't realistic nor is it fair to think as soon as you are engaged, all your single friends must walk out your life.
To evict people out your life based solely on their relationship status isn't right, but to surround yourself only with single friends can be just as faulty. Single people, no matter how long they have been a boyfriend and girlfriend, will not understand the marriage dynamic until they take the sacred oath themselves. Tyrese's point is that it would be beneficial to anyone on the verge of getting married to understand their are many things to learn from couples who already have jumped the broom and taken the plunge.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, when you're not married, you're acknowledged as "single." Single people, consciously or not, have a tendency to put their needs and wants first because - well, because they can. However, those who are married are held to legal and spiritual obligations that unite them. The needs and wants of one become the needs and wants of both. Not all of your single buddies will understand that, which is why it's imperative for anyone getting married to balance the company they keep.
Find yourself in a good space by balancing your time (when not spending it with you new wife/husband) with successfully married couples that you can learn from and single friends that respect the institution of marriage even if they are not in one. Balance is key -- unsuccessfully married couples can do plenty, if not more damage to the relationship than those who are single. Ultimately, a true friend is friend no matter his or her marital status.
Follow writer Shirea L. Carroll on Twitter @InviteOnly
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