Have you been frustrated lately with the level of political discourse? Have you ever thought: I really want to go out and rally for something but I just don't know what?
You see the rallies being organized and the marches happening, but you look at the participants and the causes and think to yourself:
I'm not old, I'm not overweight, I don't think President Barack Obama is from Africa, my 401(k) is looking up, I don't drive a Hover-Round, I think the mosque in N.Y.C. is fine, I'm against burning Korans, could care less about gay marriage and I don't even know what socialism is.
So what is out there for me?
I'm an average middle-class American who appreciates the progress the country has made, but I know there is a lot more that needs to be done on unemployment, the credit crunch, education and foreign policy. Where can I rally with like-minded folks? Folks who are thoughtful, realistic, concerned about the welfare of their country, but not hysterically angry or batshit crazy?
FINALLY, our prayers have been answered: Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart, the darling of smart liberals everywhere, is organizing a rally for people like us.
Stewart has officially invited his audience to the "Rally to Restore Sanity," being held on October 31, 2010, a date, which he adds, has no significance whatsoever. He bills it as a rally for people "who have been too busy to go to rallies." The gathering will be held on the National Mall, where Stewart hopes to attract a million moderates to "beg America to stop shouting, throwing and drawing Hitler mustaches on people other than Hitler (or Charlie Chaplin)."
Stewart clearly understands that most normal, half-way intelligent Americans are lukewarm about the whole rally thing. He says:
"You may be asking yourself ... am I the right person to go to this rally?"' Stewart said during last week's announcement. "The fact that you would even stop to ask yourself that question as opposed to just jumping up, grabbing the nearest stack of burnable holy books, strapping on a diaper and pointing your car toward D.C. - that means I think you just might be right for it."
On his Facebook page he adds:
"Ours is a rally for the people ... who actually have lives and families and jobs (or are looking for jobs) -- not so much the Silent Majority as the Busy Majority. If we had to sum up the political view of our participants in a single sentence... we couldn't. That's sort of the point."
But not to be out-done, Jon Stewart's fake-news, fake-competitor Stephen Colbert of "The Colbert Report" has planned a counter-rally.
According to funny-man Colbert, Stewart's rally is dangerous, as fear must be maintained. He says fear is one of the cornerstones of democracy:
"America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear -- that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty," Colbert stated in a recent press release.
Stephen Colbert and his Colbert Nation will be holding their own rally to "Keep Fear Alive" on the Mall at the same time. Colbert is asking all "freedom-loving patriots" to come together and challenge Stewart and his "dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our fear."
Colbert's Facebook page justifies his rally with the warning of the danger of the Stewart rally:
"They want to replace our fear with reason. But never forget: "Reason" is just one letter away from "Treason."
Whichever rally you decide to attend, it's sure to be a good time.
For once, it's refreshing to see smart Americans who don't take themselves too seriously, understand that most of us aren't crazy, aren't angry and actually know how to spell. It's such a relief to know that there are actually people like me and my peers, who are engaged and involved but not in the midst of a rage-induced psychotic episode.
Kudos to Stewart and Colbert for giving us, in the midst of an angry, high-pitched election season, the opportunity to not take ourselves too seriously.