Filed under: Celebrity Love, Dating, Relationships, Love Analytix
With talks of divorced confirmed by lawyers, it was enough to make headlines. However, a few days later, Brown visited 'Chelsea Lately' and said that the two were not ready to divorce "yet."
It's not just Mel B who can't make up her mind. Actress Vivica Foxx, 46, found herself in the same predicament a few weeks ago when her Atlanta party promoter boyfriend Slimm, 26, took to the Internet to issue a statement that read, "Me and Vivica are no longer dating. After eight months, it's time to go our separate ways."
The very next day in a Melanie-Stephen fashion, he issued a retraction, "Sometimes a person may act out of anger and I apologize for my 'flaw' of overreacting instead of letting time take its course."
Yawn! Whether it's our favorite celebs, or in our very own relationships the whole makeup to breakup process is annoying and seriously unhealthy. Ending and starting and starting and ending a relationship over and over again weakens your bond. If a relationship is a reflection of the people in it, does a weak relationship = weak people?You can argue my point if the breakup-to-makeup has only occurred once in the relationship. However, as soon as you're breaking and making up for the second time, you are beginning a cycle in the relationship that begins and ends in drama. The act of completely ending a relationship only to get back with the person days, weeks or months later is not only childish but a waste of time and energy.
This sickness of making up and breaking up in relationship can happen for one of the following reasons:
- Commitment Issues -Some couples that are scared of commitment use breaking up as an excuse to get going when things get tough.
- Boredom- The people who say things like, "But making up is the best, though!" sadly find pleasure in the dramatic 'production' of the making up and breaking up process.
- Fear of Being Alone-The fear of being lonely causes people to rather see themselves in a toxic relationship than no relationship at all.
- Selfishness -In a sick way, some people find comfort in getting back together with a their ex just so that he or she can't be with anyone else.
Give it up. What is a break anyway? Adults in adult relationships understand a real relationship with their partners require work and effort. Real relationships rooted in love don't need breaks, that's what arguments are for. And arguments don't necessarily have to escalate into boxing all your stuff and moving out if both individuals are mature enough to bring logic and not just emotion into solving problems. Pitfalls in relationships are inevitable, the makeup-to-breakup dynamic isn't the answer to avoiding the problems: Sound relationships survive them.
If you're shaking your head because you've already found yourself in this cycle, keep it real -- the future of the relationship doesn't look too bright. Ending a cycle like this isn't a revelation only one person in the relationship can come to, both people involved need to understand the folly of trying to function in dysfunction.
Follow writer Shirea L. Carroll on Twitter @InviteOnly