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Whoopi Goldberg's Loveless Marriages

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The concept of marriage is romanticized in the United States, and even though there are countless media reports on black women's low rates of marriage, most still hold on to the hope of falling in love and "finding the one." But what happens when someone doesn't marry for love but rather for for practicality? Academy Award winner and 'The View' co-host Whoopi Goldberg recently revealed to CNN's Piers Morgan that she was not in love with any of her three ex-husbands, and the one man she loved got away.

Goldberg "wanted to feel normal," she said. "And it seemed to me that if I was married, I'd have a more normal life. But clearly, that's not the case. There's not a good reason to get married."

Societal pressure forces some women to feel that they're abnormal if they are past a certain age and unwed. While marriage may enhance a man's life and status, it's been ingrained that it completes a woman's. One study identified "spinster stigma" for unmarried women over the age of 30. "We found that never-married women's social environments are characterized by pressure to conform to the conventional life pathway," said Larry Ganong, co-chair of Human Development and Family at the University of Missouri.

Whoopi rationalized that in order for a marriage to be successful and long lasting, love is an essential element. She was married to Alvin Martin from 1973-1979, cinematographer David Cleassen from 1986-1988, and actor Lyle Trachtenberg from 1994-1995. Goldberg told Morgan that she was in love with none of these men, but was in love with one man who's identity she wouldn't disclose.

According to Goldberg, women should hold out for prince charming before they marry. And even while those madly in love are susceptible to divorce, as the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

 

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