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As the guest came to the stage, even a man from Mars could tell that there was latent mega-beef between Oprah and Iyanla. Both women seemed to overcompensate when it came to doing all they could to prove that the past was the past and that everything was OK. But the tension was so thick that it seemed to suck the oxygen out of the room.
It was also very clear who the dominant party was in this reunion. Oprah's body language during the conversation (leaning away from Vanzant and pretending that nothing was wrong), clearly implied that she a) was the leader of this interaction and b) wasn't going to apologize for anything. She also made it clear that if she hadn't forgiven Iyanla, she wouldn't be "sitting in that chair." Both Winfrey and Iyanla seemed to agree that it was only Winfrey's grace that allowed Iyanla to have temporary access to her platform.
As these two women began one of the most awkward conversations I've ever seen on television, Oprah and Iyanla detailed their own sides of the story regarding a contract negotation that went bad 11 years prior. Iyanla had the supreme blessing of being the only African American that Oprah had selected to track toward having her own show (Dr. Phil McGraw and Dr. Mehmet Oz were the other two). Dr. Phil is now more popular than Hamburger Helper, and Oprah's other protege, Dr. Oz is kicking butt in his own way. Oprah Winfrey has identified herself as a King/Queen-maker (she has even given us our president), and Iyanla Vanzant was next in line.
Apparently, Vanzant called a meeting with Winfrey after she'd been fasting for several days. During the meeting, Vanzant told Winfrey that God had told her that this was the "anointed time, not the appointed time," indicating that she was ready to move forward with her own show. The kicker of it all (perhaps prompting the message from God) was that Barbara Walters had just reached out to Vanzant about doing a show with her, and Vanzant was letting Oprah know that there was competition for her services.
That's when Oprah, shall we say....got gangsta on Iyanla. Winfrey promptly left the meeting and had her attorney send Vanzant a letter telling her that the relationship between Iyanla Vanzant and Harpo Productions was being terminated. She then spent the next 11 years ignoring all of the letters she received from Vanzant attempting to explain her side of the story.
Iyanla Vanzant did go on to make a show with Barbara Walters. The reason you probably don't know much about the show is because it lasted for just one season. So, here we are, years later, with two powerful women shedding tears and pretending that they didn't know they were in battle.
My interpretation of the interaction between Vanzant and Winfrey comes from all those boring graduate school classes I took on Game Theory. Both Oprah and Iyanla knew what they were doing when they sat down at that table to negotiate. Iyanla, in my opinion, was effectively telling Oprah that she'd received a better offer, and that Oprah had better step up to the plate and make something happen. It's no different from a woman telling a man to "put a ring on it" before she starts dating his best friend who isn't afraid to commit. Iyanla, being an expert at maintaining relationships, has a hard time convincing me that she was unaware of the gamble she was taking by hijacking her relationship with Oprah and holding it for ransom. I also suspect that the bulk of those "explanatory letters" came after her show with Walters had fallen on its face.
The problem is that some people don't take ultimatums very well. Oprah didn't become one of the most powerful human beings on earth by being passive. After receiving what she likely perceived to be an ultimatum from Vanzant, Winfrey then went forward to dump Iyanla because she had no desire to become the dumpee. Oprah's been abused enough in her life, and I suspect that her desire to maintain dominance over others comes from her deep-seated need to always be in control. Once someone makes themselves into a threat to the functionality of your business, it's either time to step up or step off. Oprah isn't one to be bullied.
The conversation between Vanzant and Winfrey reminds me of a story that was told in the movie, "The Usual Suspects." In the film, a gangster comes home to find that his enemies have tied up his wife and children. They tell him that unless he gives them what they want, they will kill his wife and kids. To his enemies' surprise, the man immediately pulls out his gun and shoots his own wife and children, effectively taking away his opponents' greatest bargaining chip. Some people are just hardcore like that, and willing to burn the house down before they give it over to someone else.
Since the day that Oprah and Iyanla fell out, both women have done quite well for themselves. They surely would have been better off sticking together than parting ways. Oprah was incredibly gracious to invite Vanzant back onto her show after all these years, and one can only hope that the wounds in their relationship are healed. Even if you win a fight, you can still end up hurting, and I'm sure that's the case with Oprah.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. To follow Dr. Boyce on Facebook, please click here.