Filed under: Celebrity Love, Love Analytix
The latest? Gabriel Aubrey, 34, her estranged boyfriend and father to her 2-year-old daughter Nahla. The pair are facing legal battles in the days ahead that root in a custody issues over their daugther. Recently the French-Canadian model has been held under heavy scrutiny since reports were released that he used racial slurs, including use of the "N" word in reference to Berry.
Can Halle ever catch a break? Her dating history includes domestic abuse, sex addiction, and now racial insensitivity and a paternity battle. Without question Ms. Berry continually gets dealt a bad hand, proving beauty and accomplishments have little to do with being successful with love. Many could even argue at this point Berry has every reason to feel scorned.
You know the type. A woman so bitter by the lemons the world has handed her that they've lost faith in the institution of love itself. Woman well past their mid-twenties that had to live through so many hard hitting lessons in love that they now know only how to function with trust issues, over-independence, and problems with self esteem. And, as much as Halle could fit the bill, we respect she hasn't become "a woman scorned."
Both men and women are capable of doing the most unbelievably heinous acts in relationships, but more often it's women, who over-think and over-analyze the problem instead of trying to find a real solution. After being done wrong, women put more priority on trying to figure out "why" rather than accepting the situation for face value. The questions - "why would he do this," "why wouldn't he do that," or "why me" - usually lead to hate. Hating the person, hating oneself, and eventually longtime hatred that festers into resentment. Resentment, a lingering emotion that sheds a dark cloud of bitterness and/or rage, blocks any type of future because it keeps far too many women stuck in the past.
Your're right - he should have never betrayed you and had two kids by that "other woman' after you gave him 10 years of your life - but at the same time, maybe you should have left the second time you caught him cheating. When unacceptable things happen in a relationship, you have to ask yourself how much of it you initially tolerated and accepted.
Resentment is a negatively-charged emotion that usually leads to unforgiveness. Forgiveness is not easy, but when you've become a scorned woman - it's required. The power and the energy it takes to love someone is just as much power and energy required to continually hate someone. If you don't forgive you never relinquish that power, and in many ways the man you choose not to forgive still has power over your life.
Won't date the new guy because of what your ex did? Can't be happy for your girlfriend's new relationship because you think all men are dogs? Not forgiving is a damaging emotion that not only imprisons the person you refuse to forgive, but puts you in a cell right next to them.
Before we shake our heads at Halle Berry and whisper, "she can't keep a man," she should be commended for not turning into a woman scorned, like many have. Berry keeps it moving and, bad guy after bad guy, Berry wins because she's at least still open to love. There is something to be said about a woman learning from her mistakes, but there's something even more admirable about a resilient woman that doesn't allow those mistakes to leave her damaged and bitter. Hell may hath no fury like a woman scorned, but who wants to live their life in their own self-created hell?
Are you a woman scorned?