Condoleezza Rice, the first black woman to become a U.S. Secretary of State, was interviewed recently on the newly minted CNN show, 'Piers Morgan Tonight,' to be asked of all things: Why are you not married? That question no successful African American female can escape. The single, black (semi-successful) woman that I am couldn't help but shrink in insecurity as this ubiquitous puzzler was posed even to one of the most prominent black women alive. Why the embarrassment?
Yes, such questions make for great ratings. It's a question Piers Morgan might have asked any single V.I.P. Watching a woman who used to wield massive diplomatic and military power talk of cooking fried chicken was a hoot. But despite the innocence of the utterance, for black women everywhere that question is the articulation of a Greek tragedy-style family curse: An unsolvable source of suffering for black women that just keeps getting passed down. Piers may not have known that, but refering to it even obliquely is enough to make one's heart hurt.
Recently, the media has made questioning professional black female singledom into a mind-numbing mantra. Why can't enough black women get married? Why can't successful black women get married? What will happen to all the successful single black women as they get older because they can't get married? It's one thing to ask these questions of the average professional black woman. It's another thing to transform even Condoleezza Rice in an object of pity with these words. Because that is what this line of reasoning does. And now all of America is partaking in the pity party that used to only take place in our sister cirlces, hair salons and the occasional work of sister-girl fiction. Now that everyone is in on it, black women can't even make being lonely together into a good time anymore.
Michelle Obama: Some conservative folks would prefer she cover them up, but the first lady works hard for those shoulders, biceps and triceps. Why hide them? "If I don't exercise," she told Oprah Winfrey, "I don't feel good."
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Michelle Obama: Some conservative folks would prefer she cover them up, but the first lady works hard for those shoulders, biceps and triceps. Why hide them? "If I don't exercise," she told Oprah Winfrey, "I don't feel good."
Madonna: As with everything else having to do with Madge, her arms are controversial. Some hate her cut biceps, but fans say she looks amazing. Whether you like the look or not, you can't deny that those guns are serious!
Angela Bassett: The world took notice of Bassett's killer arms when she played Tina Turner in 'What's Love Got to Do with It.' Sixteen years later, her arms still wow on the red carpet. Her secret? Exercise and good genes!
Evangeline Lilly: What's one place where this television actress isn't 'Lost?' The gym. The Canadian actress stays buff for her hit TV show by surfing, running, dancing, lifting weights and doing yoga and pilates.
Venus & Serena Williams: Anyone who doesn't know how these famous sisters got their rock-hard bodies has been living under a rock! The tennis champions dominate their sport and have the muscles to prove it.
Hillary Swank: She played a boxer alongside Morgan Freeman in 'Million Dollar Baby,' and it wasn't a stretch to imagine the toned actress actually pummeling an opponent in the ring. In the gym, Swank focuses on pilates and weights.
Michelle Yeoh: She might have made her living starring in Chinese and American martial arts films, but Yeoh has no formal training in martial arts. She's actually a trained ballet dancer, which explains her lean, defined limbs.
Vanessa Williams: She might share her name with another famous actress, but this Williams still stands out, especially on the red carpet. The 'Soul Food' star's vegetarian diet helps her stay fit.
Jada Pinkett-Smith: Former gym bunny Jada has recently had to tone back on the hardcore workouts, because they were hurting her joints. But even with lower impact exercising, Jada's still got the hard body.
Jessica Biel: Biel's one actress who is proud she's not rail thin. "You don't have to be stick skinny to be gorgeous," she has said. "Muscles are beautiful. Strong bodies, working out and eating healthily is beautiful."
I know what you may be thinking. BV on Money just ran an article that explicity fingered our sexual-social wound, while packing it deeply with the salt of hopelessness. For some reason, as much as I'm complaining, it's impossible to really let the issue go as many have vociferously requested. This image of the hard-working, successful, classy, beautiful, articulate (and in Rice's case powerful) African American woman who just can't get a man, no matter what -- is addicting. Sure, we are all tired of hearing about it, but just like supporting that best friend who creates needless problems, talking about it endlessly is stimulating entertainment.
It strikes such a deep emotional cord, full of high drama, it's a difficult addiction to break. I'm not holding my breath for the moment when beating this "dead horse" renders it even comatose. But if we have to keep discussing it (as we do), I'd rather keep the debate over why successful black women can't get married within the walls of our real-world and virtual communities. For some reason it seems wrong when the topic crosses over and is dissected by the "other side." From 'Precious' to 'Good Hair,' we don't need another reason for mainstream audiences to look at black women in a melancholic light. Especially not our most successful women.
What do you think? Was Piers intentionally out of line or completely innocent while questioning why Rice, "catch" that she is, can't get a man?
