Filed under: News, Race and Civil Rights
If you were as impressed as I was with the story of Ted Williams, the homeless man with the golden voice whose story has been all over the media these past few days, then you should be even more impressed with the woman who raised five of his children after he became strung out on drugs and alcohol.
Not impressed yet?
This woman is partially blind and one of the kids she raised was not her own, but Williams' from another woman.
After Williams gets his life together, he needs to go kiss the feet of Patricia Kirtley.
Just in case you've been under a rock the last few days, Williams, 53, was found on the side of the highway by a Columbus Dispatch reporter holding a sign that said he had the "God-given gift of voice."
The reporter stopped by with a camera, gave Williams a buck and out came a deep, velvety voice that should be famous. The video hit YouTube and Williams now has job offers and work coming from Kraft, the Cleveland Cavaliers and NFL Films just to name a few.
When Williams cut out 23 years ago, Kirtley stayed with the four daughters that the pair had together. She also took in Williams' son and raised him as if he were one of her own.
"We survived," said Kirtley, a resident of Reynoldsburg, Ohio, to the New York Daily News Thursday. "My children are survivors. They know if we get a little bit that God provides, we make it into a lot. I'm a soup maker. I make potato soup and throw in a lot of vegetables and a little meat. We always ate."
Kirtley now has 16 grandchildren. She said Williams was in and out of her children's lives for years. He would call, come by for Thanksgiving dinner, but did not provide financial or emotional support.
Not only that, two of Kirtley's sisters and a cousin took in other children that Williams had fathered but was not involved with because of his drug problem.
Peering through Williams' still inspiring rags-to-riches story, we must look at the pain of the children who were left behind when their father succumbed to the disease of drug addiction.
"He wasn't involved," said Williams' 30-year-old daughter, Julia Pullien, who was 7 when her dad left. "Our mom was our sole provider. She is a more than phenomenal person. My father is a nice guy, but he fell victim to the streets. We prayed for him and we worried about him, but we became accustomed to the fact that he just wasn't there." Kirtley struggled. She received public assistance before she was able to go to school and become a blind vendor.
"My mother and sisters pitched in and drove me because I can't see to drive," said Kirtley.
The children also didn't understand what was going on.
"They didn't understand why he was never there for their school functions, or just to help with their homework," Kirtley said."That's when I really could have used help, because I couldn't see their pages. My kids are really good readers, though, because I made them read everything to me out loud."
Kirtley's story is one of strength. She's an example of the hundreds of thousands of black women who persevere, raising children on their own because the men in their lives fell victim to drugs, were sent to prison or were just apathetic about the fate of their kids.
Unfortunately, it's too common of a story in our community.
Census data shows that 78 percent of black households were led by married couples in 1950. Only 18 percent of black households were led by single females. In 2000, only 32 percent of black households were led by married couples compared to 53 percent of all households. Almost 31 percent of black households were led by black, single women.
Kirtley says all of her children are adults with jobs of their own but many other single parent households are not as lucky.
So, as Williams continues on his whirlwind tour and the checks start to come in and he utilizes his God-Given gifts, a few things need to happen.
First, Williams needs to meet with his children and seek reconciliation. No one wants to live their life as a drug addict begging for money on the side of a highway. Williams should explain how his life was dragged down by drugs and alcohol and make every effort to get to know his children and grandchildren.
Secondly, he needs to use the financial resources that his voice will provide to help his children, grandchildren and the women who cared for them. A college fund for the children of his family is a good idea.
Finally, Williams needs to get down on his knees and kiss the feet of the many women who took care of his children. He owes them a heartfelt apology for not being there. A whirlwind shopping spree financed by his golden voice might be a good place to start thanking Patricia Kirtley and the women like her who cared for Williams' kids.
I still love Williams' voice and his incredible story. But it's a story that will not be complete until he reconciles with his children.