By now, you must have heard the story of the real-life superhero, complete with an identity protecting mask, colorful bulletproof crime-fighting suit and Taser nightstick, who is running the streets of suburban Seattle to stop crime.
Yeah, that is a good one! About as funny as a hernia, which, by the way, I hope this so-called crime-fighting fool suffers from when trying to run down his next thief.
I'm sorry, but I see little that is cute, amusing or even safe in the idea of this clown patrolling the streets like Superman.
Like most people I know, I have enough to worry about just walking the streets.
The last thing I need is for some fool in his skin-tight drawers running up to me in a dark alley. Call me a humorless old man, but I would look for the nearest bottle or board and lay it across his skull if I saw him approach me without cause.
It seems this foolishness is the brainchild of a man calling himself Phoenix Jones, who has been on his crime-fighting crusade for the past nine months.
He said he has been stabbed and had several guns pulled on him but hasn't been seriously injured -- yet. That will change someday soon, I assure you, if this man with a serious Superman complex doesn't get his costumed butt off the streets and into a mental ward.
If he were really serious about stopping crime, he would organize a neighborhood watch along the lines of the Guardian Angels, who have been bringing safer streets to American communities for decades.
But dressing up like a comic book character and trying to stop crime on real streets in America is a fool's errand. The criminals Phoenix Jones runs into won't crumble with one punch or fire bullets that always miss the target like comic book bad guys.
They play for keeps.
Then we will see how many people are laughing when this clown ends up dead.
Check out Phoenix Jones here: