Filed under: News, Politics, Race and Civil Rights
It's the end of the year. A time when we set goals and figure out all the wonderful, positive things we want to bring into our lives.
But to hell with that. It's also a time when we should decide exactly what we DON'T want in our lives in the coming year. A time when we recognize exactly what you hated about last year and have no intention on repeating. A time when you look back and recognize that things that seemed cool to you at the time, were really just stupid.
I will share with you my personal list.
1. Sarah Palin
This woman, who was unleashed among this society by grumpy uncle John McCain has been the bain of our collective existence ever since. Between her word salad tweets, made up words, Facebook postings, screwed up kids, and her attacks on Michelle Obama for trying to keep our fat a** kids from all dying of diabetes and heart disease, Palin is one person I would like to leave behind in 2010.
2. Jay-Z, Beyonce & Rihanna
I love you guys, but enough already. I am so sick of hearing about you people. I just don't care anymore.
I'm not sure if it's too late, but I'd also like to add (insert name here) Kardashian to this list. Thank you.
3. The words: "wow", "really?" "ballin'", and "swag."
I think that says it all.
(Just for the record we've been trying to leave "hating" behind since 2006 with little success.)
4. Right-Wing Nuts/Birthers/Left-Wing Liberal Whiners
OK, we get it. For some people, the thought of a black president just infuriates you. Though you reflexively hate him simply because of the color of his skin, can you please spare the rest of us from your idiotic rationalizations of your racism? Your wacky claims that Obama is a Kenyan Muslim and your outrage and opposition to ANYTHING he says? For example: OBAMA: "The sky is blue" YOU: "No it isn't, you just want it to be blue because you are a Muslim and want to destroy America." Enough already. He's black, he's here, get over it.
On the other end of the spectrum, you die-hard liberals have no problems with a black president. But it's the part about him not being a magic king who can just wave a wand and have all your agenda items fall into place, that gets your panties in a bunch.
Look, he's not a Kenyan terrorist from Nairobi City, Hawaii NOR is he "Barack the Magic Negro." Both of you, grow up in 2011.
5. Women with Half-shaved heads
Not a good look for 99.9% of the population. Period. Don't chance it.
6. The terms "baby mama" & "baby daddy"
Look, man or woman, you picked the idiot. Can you please dignify yourself and your now-begrudged family with the phrases, "my daughter's father" or "my son's mother." Even if you don't respect your one-time sex partner, please respect your son or daughter by not trivializing them as a "baby." I mean, damn, they're 15 now. Sounds awful.
7. Celebrity clothing and perfume lines.
OK, I like Usher. I'm a fan of Beyonce. But do I really want to wear their clothing lines or cologne? What happened to the days when only gay, accomplished designers sold cologne? I was good then. Chanel, Calvin Klein, Versace, Claiborne, Bulgari -- they were folks I'd buy fragrances from. But what in the sam hell would I want to wear a scent by train-wrecks like Britney Spears or Mariah Carey? I am never mad at the hustle and encourage all to make that money while they can. But damn. Take a hint from the legends. You never saw Michael Jackson or Prince or Janet Jackson or Aretha Franklin peddling clothing lines or perfume brands. Celebs, do what you know.
8. Snuggies and all their Offspring
OK, I was good when the Snuggie was a passing fancy. I even got a Snuggie for Christmas last year from my hunky man and was way more tickled than i should have been (though I am secretly concerned it will catch me on fire one day). HOWEVER, there have been a spate of Snuggie spin-offs and some really disturbing clothing trends, all somehow birthed on cheesy random cable channels. Yes, I'm talking to you: Slanket and Pajama Jeans. But your time is over. No longer will we be slaves to fashion advertised on daytime and late night television. In 2011, we will all be back lounging around in our jogging pants and old t-shirts and old blankets, exactly like we are supposed to. Plus most of our credit cards don't work anymore.
9. Ginny Thomas Voice Mails
Ok, sure, we all had a big laugh at Virginia Thomas, wife of sitting Supreme Court Justice and Black activist (ha! just kidding), Clarence Thomas. But I'm hoping as 2011 rolls around, Clarence reigns Ms. Ginny in and, like in some cars, requires her to take a breathalyzer before being able to place calls.
10. Kwame Kilpatrick
'Nuff said.
11. Real Housewives of Everywhere
The gig is up ladies. Everyone knows by now that anyone with any real money, power or influence would NEVER do this show. You all are a bunch of embarrassing also-rans who represent the empty, debt-fueled consumption culture that got us all into this mess. BYE!
There is more to leave behind in 2011. Trust me, we can all enter next year with some dignity. Check back tomorrow for Part Two!