Filed under: Celebrity Love, Sexual Health , Relationships
The song and video have offended more than a few, and has been described as being everything from being way too racy to damn near pornographic. However, Hilson begs to differ. The 'Pretty Girl Rock' singer says people need to stop looking at things at surface value, and become more vocal in expressing their sexuality. Hilson recently spoke with Black Voices about her new album, sexual confidence, and tips on letting your man know what you want in the bedroom.
What's the story behind the controversial single 'The Way You Love Me'?
'The Way You Love Me' is about taking ownership of your sexuality. In the song, I'm talking about one guy in the context of a relationship. It's very important to get what you want from a relationship. Sometimes we want the same things men want, but it's about knowing that and feeling confident enough to say that. If there's something you want in bed, let him know. We all have a bad side, let's be real. If you're a woman and you're offended, then you're not being real.
Do you agree with the idea that you're selling sex in this video?
I'm not trying to sell sex, I'm just selling reality. I'm saying what a lot of women are saying behind closed doors. I don't do music about the front women put up, that would be very boring and see through. They're calling me a hoe, persecuting me and saying I changed just to sell sex. No! This is just a piece of who I am. I'm a woman about mine and I'm also a Saggitarius, so maybe I don't have the filters I should have. Maybe we as women have too many filters, especially when it comes to our sexuality.
What advice would you give women who are having a hard time expressing what they want sexually?
The next time you're talking about sex, lovemaking, or whatever you're calling it that night, tell him what you want. It's good to be matter of fact, but it should also come up casually in conversation.
How exactly should a woman bring it up?
Always start with praise, because you don't want to kill his manhood. Let him know, "This is good," or, "I love the way we kiss" -- even if it isn't a compliment on something sexual. Then you can tell him, "I kinda want to teach you what I like about this." Just always remember to praise him first.
What are the consequences of not saying anything?
Relationships are give and take, (laughs) it's going to have to come out eventually.