I had been staying up nights, tossing and turning, wondering what happened to my future baby-daddy-South-Carolinian-Senatorial-Candidate, Alvin Greene. Ever since his felony indictment on some weird sexytime charges in South Carolina, I hadn't heard a peep from the man destined to be the next Barack Obama.
But sometime prayers do get answered.
Alvin Greene, Senatorial candidate extraordinaire, gave a nationally televised interview on "The Last Word" on MSNBC. And he did not disappoint. For all of you doubters and/or haters, Greene was the consummate professional in this interview-- not giving in to Lawrence O'Donnell's "gotcha" questions, tabloid journalism and other attempts to discredit his pure-as-driven-snow character. Greene had something for us all. Prepare to be "wowed" as you watch the video below:
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As with any transformational figure, Greene stuck to his agenda. He would not be distracted from promoting the needs of the people of South Carolina. Who cares if he kept repeating himself as if he had memorized his lines? Who cares if he ignored any questions he was actually asked? Who cares if he looked like a remarkably life-like android who was sent to Earth to gain information about human democracies before the "invasion?" I don't.
If Alvin Greene says Republican opponent Jim DeMint single-handedly caused the great recession, who are we to question that? Well, didn't he?
If you didn't appreciate the science Alvin dropped in this interview, then there is clearly something wrong with YOU. Perhaps you are one of those liberal elitists who thinks that intelligence is important. Maybe you are a policy wonk who thinks that having a plan for governing is all that matters. Or maybe you are some average human being who wants to hear a coherent sentence. Well, Greene refuses to be put into your little boxes, you snobs.
Sure, if you want just another politician who has some sort of "plan" and who uses verbs that "agree" and can construct a coherent "sentence," then perhaps you can take your unrealistic expectations and your snooty attitude and go kick rocks. However, if you want a real man who will unleash change on South Carolina, change like you've never seen, then you will pick Alvin Greene and you will vote for him for Senate in November. For the term of: life.
God bless Alvin Greene and these United States of America.