Filed under: Gossip
Duke University student Karen Owen might have seemed pretty normal to most of us. She was a typical student for the most part, perhaps even extraordinary, given that she'd been admitted to Duke. But Owen did something that is probably making her mama blush. Owen put together what she called a "F**k list," consisting of a detailed account of the parade of athletes with whom she'd had sex. The "thesis," which was a 42-page powerpoint document, was called "An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics." She refers to the men in the document as her "subjects" and even thanks them in the acknowledgements section of the paper. In the document, Owen discusses the size of the men's "assets," and rates them on a variety of sexual attributes. There are 13 athletes featured that Owen says she "got busy" with during her time at Duke.Karen's "thesis" was sent to a few friends as a joke, but eventually went viral. It was placed on websites around the world, making both she and Duke University look pretty bad in the process. Just four years after that interesting sex scandal with the Duke Lacrosse team, it appears that their athletes and university are back in the news.
Some would say that Owen's decision was simply an act of sexual liberation. After all, frat boys do this kind of thing all the time, and no one says a word. Others think that Owen embarrassed herself and her family by attending a prestigious university and being everything other than the good girl she might have pretended to be. Owen is apparently embarrassed by the incident, given that she has since apologized to the men involved, and gone into hiding.
There are teachable lessons to be learned from the experience of Karen Owen, especially for young people. As a man who's taught at the college level for the past 17 years, I can tell you that some of the most unimaginable things happen when our little babies leave the nest to pursue higher education. Some of them have never experienced freedom in their lives and engage in the unhealthy habits of binge drinking, irresponsible sexual promiscuity and even the consumption of drugs. This happens on nearly every campus, from the mediocre to the elite, with Duke University being no exception. I write about these matters in frank detail in my book, "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about College," because it's important that your kids learn to make the right choices.
Sometimes, students don't quite realize the long-term implications of their choices, or even understand that most of their college education takes place outside the classroom. The life education you get from college is critical in helping you to prepare for the knocks of real life later on down the road. Additionally, the age of the Internet means that whatever you do on camera, Facebook, or anywhere else, can be instantly shared with the world. So, if you don't want something personal about yourself appearing on The Today Show (which is one of the many media outlets who picked up the thesis of Karen Owen), then don't share it with your friends via email.
The other interesting lesson from the Karen Owen sex debacle is that our personal choices can have serious consequences for the rest of our lives. I've seen students who've bragged about having sex with over 100 partners in a one-year period, and engaging in a lot of interesting personal choices that have put them on the wrong side of an HIV test. Respecting your body and the sexual process is something that we should all try to remember in a world where unhealthy sex is glamorized by media and hip hop music videos. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't enjoy sex, but it does mean that you might want to spend some time getting to know someone before you decide to sleep with them. I'm sure the athletes who were victimized by Karen Owen simply thought that sleeping with any available customer is the default lifestyle that an athlete should pursue (we heard the stories about the drunken parties of the Duke Lacrosse team) . Men might be accustomed to being the sexual hunters, but they might find sometimes themselves actually becoming the prey.
When it comes to massive consumption of drugs and alcohol, many campuses seem to produce almost as many alcoholics as college graduates. It may seem cool and sexy to get drunk every weekend at the age of 22, but it's sad to see what these people have become by the time they are in their thirties. Moderation is the key to getting the most from the college experience, and you should share this lesson with your children.
By the way - in case you're wondering, Karen Owen is not black. So, as you wipe the sweat from your brow and breathe a sigh of relief, just know that I am sharing Karen's story because all of us can learn from it. The same kind of thing happens at HBCUs across America.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action Resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.