Filed under: News, Opinion, Race and Civil Rights
Dr. Jeff Gardere and I both agree that the recent gay sex scandal of Pastor Eddie Long has opened a chasm in the black church and the black community that needs to be filled with discussion and most importantly, understanding. The relationship between the black church and the black community is one that begins for most of us as children and never ends. It is time to begin a conversation that can heal a lot of people.
My Take - The Black Church
The black church is one of the deepest and most significant institutions in the African American community. Anyone who struggles with a problem in their lives is encouraged to turn to the church for answers. If you want to know why you made it through your surgery, got a better job, or found a way to get off crack, there's probably a church on your corner willing to provide you with a convenient explanation. The church is in our blood and our pastors are our spiritual fathers.
Many black folks understand the church before they ever even understand God. This socialization puts a psychological stranglehold on us: Many of us are taught to condemn those who are different, whether it is because they are gay, not baptized or simply believe what we don't believe. Some accept a life of hypocrisy, since the idea of being marginalized by the church is far worse than the challenge of maintaining a double life. We learn how to twist and manipulate the bible to help us explain away every socially deviant behavior and moral imperfection.
One area in which the hypocrisy of the black church is strongest is when it comes to homosexuality. Therefore, if you aren't gay, you are required to politely inform every gay person you meet that he/she is going straight to hell. Homosexuals are taught that praying about it enough will make the homosexuality go away, like indigestion or a bad cold. If you are gay, you have the option of continuing to go to church and pretending you're not gay. How deeply you choose to live the lie depends on your preference.
One thing that's clear, however, is that most churches and pastors will never tell you that homosexuality is OK. The degree to which you are condemned depends on the church you choose and how open you are with your sexual preferences. In other words, "Don't ask, don't tell" is in full effect in the African American community.
The gay sex scandal of Bishop Eddie Long opens the door to the conversation on homosexuality that must occur in every black church across America. If it is the case that Bishop Long was using his youth program as an incubator for the fulfillment of his passionate desires, then that should be cause for alarm for all of us. There's an Eddie Long-like mega-pastor in every city and every neighborhood across black America. Perhaps if we wake up and smell the situation, we can come to terms with the realities of our community.
Dr. Jeff Gardere's Take - The Black Community
In the wake of the Bishop Eddie Long scandal, in which he has been accused of seducing four young men into physical and emotional relationships, this may be the perfect time for us in the black community to get off our high horses and reexamine our belief systems regarding homosexuality.
Let's face it, there are many of us that still consider gays and lesbians to be mentally ill or within religious terms: an abomination. This belief has been damaging in many ways. For gays and lesbians, they have been ridiculed, taunted and even physically harmed by homophobes. This belief has forced many of them to live secret and fearful lives for the sake of emotional and physical safety. For those who are heterosexual and openly put down gays and lesbians, it has shut them off from understanding and even fully loving their own gay children, family and friends. At the end of the day, everyone is left in emotional conflict and pain.
Bishop Long expressed his vehement opposition to homosexuality and a part of his ministry is dedicated to changing unhealthy homosexuality to healthy heterosexuality. Because there have been many raging homophobic religious and political leaders who were later discovered to be secretly homosexual after being caught up in sexual scandals themselves, many folks believe that he may also fit this pattern.
If nothing else, the reverberations of these accusations against Bishop Long, are also impacting congregations across America who hold their pastors in the highest esteem. Perhaps in a very positive manner, it is bringing them to the reality that their religious leaders are not "gods" but are purely human and have clay feet, and therefore should be held more accountable for their actions and behaviors.
The emotional pain that Bishop Long, his family, his accusers, his congregation and even black America are now experiencing because of these sensational accusations, should help us all break out of that prideful and hateful belief system of us, the heterosexuals vs. them, the homosexuals. The reality is that our sexuality may be different, but we are all brothers and sisters in the struggle and miracle called life.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action Resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
Dr. Jeff Gardere, better known as America's psychologist is one of the most sought-after experts in the field of mental health. In addition to having a private practice in New York City, he has garnered a reputation as being a top motivational and keynote speaker, empowerment and media coach. He now appears as the relationship expert on VH-1's 'Dad Camp.'