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The Word 'Curvy' Is Dead to Me

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Allow me to share a few words about the word "curvy."

First, please know that I do get along with most words. I cozy up to the words I really like (take, for instance, my serious crush on the word "heretofore"), and I keep a safe distance from the words I like least.

When a word offends me, I typically don't hold a grudge (and we're not talking racial-slur offensive; more like when a guy calls me "cute," and I'd rather be called "sexy"). I've even learned to love words that I once hated because I thought the people who used them were just trying to sound smarter than me (overcoming that suspicion led to my abiding affection for the word "sartorial").

Yet there are some words that I can't stand, that I can't even be in the same room with, and when I hear or read them, I'm like, "Get the hell outta here with that (screeeech!)! What the (fire truck!) does that even mean?"

"Curvy" is one of those (car-colliding screech! blaring horn! crying baby! fire truck siren!-ing) words.


When I hear it, I think about how all those bogus "curvy-fit" jeans have these ridiculous built-in hips, as if being curvy is all bottom and no top; how some blog might announce "Eva Longoria embraces her curves!" and I can hear women my mom's size the world over saying to themselves, "What the hell curves does Eva Longoria have? She's just as itty-bitty as she wants to be. If she has curves, then I must have arcs"; or how a well-meaning women's magazine editor is somewhere in Manhattan explaining to her staff that a story needs a "curvy girl" when she really wants to say "fat girl" (after which, she'd think, but not say, "probably not Lane Bryant fat").

As a descriptor for body shape or body type, the word "curvy" just doesn't satisfy me.
But, sometimes, there's also this faint, auction-time-in-spring cultural stench that comes with the word "curvy," like it has had a long-expired shelf life in the "euphemisms" aisle, and folks keep finding a way to use it on all black women. (Here you may insert your personal beef with black female body myths -- like how we don't all have "meat on our bones" or "thighs like a thoroughbred" -- and your discussion about black feminist theories and crimes of the African diaspora -- Hottentot Venus, et al. But I'm not getting that deep right now.)

All I'm saying: I never really liked the damn word. But yesterday, when I saw the April issue of Vogue at the drugstore, I decided the word "curvy" is officially dead to me.
The obituary reads:

The word "curvy," an otherwise straightforward adjective used to describe an object or person's relative un-straightness (linearly, not sexually, speaking), died on March 16 when Vogue debuted its 10th annual shape issue with Rihanna on the cover and a bold headline proclaiming the scoop on how the singer "really feels about her curves." Although the coroner's report has not been released, reports suggest that one related cause of death of the word "curvy" might have been catachresis, a condition that involves the misapplication of words and phrases.

Many people (particularly women and black women, especially) have suspected for years that the word "curvy" was in failing verbal health -- on its last legs, even -- as it was simultaneously used to dub celebrities like Queen Latifah (who's widely considered plus-size) and Beyoncé (who's so not plus-size).
Still, the word "curvy" stubbornly prevailed in the media, despite the word's increasing inability to say what the hell it meant. There was buzz last year that the word "curvy" was in extreme critical condition, with several sources even claiming it had flatlined a few times. Yet a band of media minds, determined not to take the extra time to accurately describe women's bodies, continued to resuscitate the word "curvy" in their pages. News of the Vogue-related death of the word "curvy" has magazine editors everywhere mourning the loss of this beloved and convenient word, which, after years of being dichotomized, finally succumbed to verbal misuse.

The word "curvy" is survived by the words "thick" and "shapely," as well as the expression "Damn, ma."

 

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The Last Listening Party of the Notorious B.I.G.: A Pictorial Glimpse by His Last Publicist

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Before his untimely death in 1997, The Notorious B.I.G. frequently made headlines for his bad boy antics. Through his music and personae, he carefully cultivated a thug image born of the gritty streets of Bedford Stuyvesant, Brooklyn.

He was not known as a man of compassion. That was until now. In 'The Last Listening Party of The Notorious B.I.G.,' LaJoyce Brookshire, the former publicist for Arista Records, his record label, and Elijah Muhammad, an entertainment photographer, show a different side of the artist during the listening party for the album 'Life After Death,' which was released 14 years ago today (March 25, 1997).

Thirty eight striking never-before-released images show him in repose, in pensive thought and laughing with friends, including Sean "Puffy" Combs. No one would have thought that two weeks later Biggie would be dead, murdered during a drive-by shooting in Los Angeles.
"Readers will see Biggie in a different light, compared to what they've seen before in the press,'' Muhammad told BlackVoices.com. " He's down-to-earth in these pictures. It's not the tough guy image. It's the Biggie that his mother knew -- in his innocence, so to speak.''

"He went through a lot of different moods in this one setting at this one listening party,'' Muhammad continued. "The photos reflect that. It looks like he had a lot on his mind at one point. He's sleeping at another. It's interesting. I think readers will connect with a part of him that isn't normally revealed.''

Self published on blurb.com, the pair came up with the book idea after talking about it for years. Brookshire felt she had a lot to share. She was director of R&B publicity for Arista and handled Biggie from the beginning of his career until his death. With her first-hand narrative, she takes readers on an inside journey from her first encounter with Biggie to their last.

One of her first encounters with Biggie in 1994 was riotous if not outright obnoxious, she recounted.

"We were at the Bad Boy Records office and we were supposed to have a press day,'' Brookshire shared. "He needed media training beforehand. I told him to look people in the eye. I told him to answer a question with a question. I told him not to say [n-word]. He was like, 'OK, 'I'll be right back.' Twenty minutes passed. I thought he was socializing. I went to look for him. It was a catered affair, so I wanted to get things started because people were starting to show up. He never came back. No, I'll be right back; I'll see you later. He just left. That's how it started.''

Then she told us how there were many instances when he kept her waiting for hours or all day long after telling her he would be downstairs in five minutes.

"We'd just have to wait downstairs in the car,'' she said. "There was lots of trying to get him out of bed and lots of him showing up with lots of people at a TV studio and we'd have to accommodate them all. I'm talking 15 to 20 people easily.''

But their relationship changed after the release of his second album, 'Life After Death.'
"We, at the label, knew he was a star,'' Brookshire said. "He knew I cared, but I wasn't going to take any junk. He was like, 'Dag, you are a bitch.' I was like, 'It's Miss Bitch to you.' ''

The most endearing thing about Biggie is that he was an incredibly caring person, but it took time to peel back the layers of the onion, she said. In one case, she recounts how she had received news of her estranged husband's death during the iconic cover shoot of him and Faith Evans under the Brooklyn Bridge for Vibe magazine. Knowing how difficult he was to manage, Brookshire said she was reluctant to leave even though she was grief stricken.

"I kept going to the phone in the car,'' she recalled. "He saw me crying and he was like you need to go home and take of your business. He kissed me on the forehead and turned me around and pushed me toward the car.''

In another instance in March 1997, just after the listening party, Brookshire and Biggie were attending the 'Soul Train Music Awards' in Los Angeles. Brookshire said Biggie was eager to attend the Vibe party afterward, but she wasn't. She gave him her tickets because she wanted to return home to put the finishing touches on her wedding, which was scheduled to take place the next month.

"We said our goodbyes,'' Brookshire recalled. "And then the next day I found out he was gone. Just like that.''

 

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Texas Lawmakers to Enact Voter ID Law for No Reason

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Texas Lawmakers to Enact Voter ID Law for No Reason


Texas, the home of Sheila Jackson-Lee, George W. Bush and Michael Irvin, never fails to disappoint. Silly me, I thought that all Americans older than the age of 18 had the right to vote.

However, those wacky Texan good ole boys feel that the right to vote is being abused, and by God, they are going to nip this issue right in the bud.

Republican legislators in the Texas House have once again proved they are the bastion of backward thinking by voting 101-48 late Wednesday for a bill requiring voters to show photo ID at the polls.

Republicans have long-sought to enact this legislation, saying that their constituents had demanded this change to ensure election integrity. Republican governor Rick Perry declared the bill one of several emergency items on the agenda. Democrats in the House voted unanimously against the bill, saying the measure would disenfranchise poor and minority voters and is targeting a problem -- in-person voter fraud -- that doesn't even exist.

Voter fraud is a common refrain for Republicans who act as though this is a huge problem in our country. The reality is that in-person voter fraud has never been a problem in this country. In fact, between 2002 and 2005, when hundreds of millions of people voted, the Justice Department charged a whopping 95 people with election fraud.

Royal Masset, former political director of the Republican Party of Texas, calls the Republicans' "religious" belief in voter fraud a lie:

"It's not true. It does not exist."

Rep. Marc Veasey, D-Fort Worth, said the bill would effectively return Texas to the days of Jim Crow:

"I think it's horrible," Veasey said. "I think it discriminates against people. I think we'll look back in shame."

One may think that such laws are innocuous. What's the big deal about requiring ID to be shown at the polls? Well, on the surface, nothing; however, voter ID laws disproportionately impact minority, student and immigrant voters and reduce overall voter registration and turnout among those groups.

The elderly, who are the least likely to have a driver's license or find their birth certificate, would have to pay a fee to order a birth certificate and then go down to city hall to apply for an ID card and pose for a picture.

Many low-income citizens who do not have a government-issued ID or have different addresses from their ID card will have to re-apply in order to vote. I feel bad for the granddad who moved to Texas to retire but still has his New York ID and won't be able to vote until he gets a new ID card.

This may seem like a small inconvenience to some, but when you're elderly and/or poor, don't have transportation or don't have a great grasp of the English language, it's just enough hassle to make you stay home on election day.

The legislation also impacts college students by requiring a photo ID issued by the government. That excludes students from using student IDs and voting from their campus unless they choose to vote by absentee ballot.

Republicans are quick to point to the ACORN voting-registration scandal as evidence that voter fraud is a pervasive problem. Voter registration fraud, though, which usually consists of registering lots of people who don't exist for money, generally, does not result in in-person voting fraud and, thus, does not have any impact on the outcome of elections.

In other words, there are not a lot of people named "Mickey Mouse," "Biggie Smalls" or "Ben Dover" who are fraudulently casting ballots in elections.

Veasey attempted to add a Democratic amendment that would allow voters without valid identification to sign an affidavit swearing to their identity, making fraudulent voters liable for a second-degree felony. House Republicans rejected it, along with an amendment allowing an exemption for voters who are older than the age of 70.

Rep. Jose Aliseda, R-Beeville, a strong proponent of the bill, said, "I've had many people tell me that they don't believe their vote will count because of the fraud that exists in South Texas."

So let me get this straight, instead of Rep. Aliseda educating uninformed voters that voter fraud is actually quite rare, he passes legislation to remedy a problem that does not exist.

The legislation still has to pass both Texas houses, and if the Republicans succeed, the bill will come into effect just in time for the 2012 elections.

How convenient.

 

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New Film Focuses on African-American Infant Mortality

Fraudulent Birther Controversy -- Trump's Only Presidential Trump

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From The Huffington Post: Real estate tycoon Donald Trump's talk about a presidential bid is take your pick: a bad joke, a cheap publicity stunt, or the delusional raving of a guy with too much money, too much ego, and way too much time on his hands to stroke both. But Trump did manage to figure out one angle that was a surefire way to get attention. That was to dredge up the birthers' lie about President Obama.

Read more about Trump's desperate ploy at The Huffington Post

 

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26.2 Miles Is a Walk in the Park for These Women

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Last weekend, the inspiring women over at Black Girls Run completed the Publix Geaorgia Marathon. Here's some of the recap from that momentous day:

I don't remember exactly how many hills were sprinkled throughout the course at the GA half this past weekend; all I remember was the last one.

A mile before approaching the hill, I looked at my Garmin and marveled at my pace - "Wow you are going to run a 2:10, Ash," I thought to myself. And with that boost of confidence, I kicked it into to high gear and started weaving around the other racers with a smile on my face.


Read more about this race and accounts from other black women runners at Black Girls Run

 

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Toccara: Sexy, Single and Ready to Find Her Perfect Man

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Former 'America's Next Top Model' contestant Toccara Jones never ceases to entertain.

The plus-size beauty shed pounds on VH1's 'Celebrity Fit Club,' appeared as a spokesperson for Ashley Stewart, interviewed a who's who of entertainers as a correspondent for the now-defunct BET show 'The Black Carpet' and even nailed more pages in the much-buzzed-about all-black issue of Vogue Italia magazine than her mentor Tyra Banks (14, to be exact).


These days, she's not opposed to striking a pose, but Toccara is on the hunt for a man and ready to let America in on the action.

TV One announced a few months ago that she'd be replacing Omarosa on the second season of 'Donald Trump Presents the Ultimate Merger' -- something she's beyond excited about.

"Right now, I am in La La Land because I'm fantasizing and think everyone is going to be 6'3. I feel like I am doing a dating show and I want to broaden my horizons so I told them, [I'm open to] any nationality, but I do like height," she gushed to BlackVoices.com in the midst of hosting an event in Atlanta recently.



"As women we always think, 'I want this. I want that.' I don't have a checklist. You all know me. You all know my personality. I'm like, 'Come on, Trump. Come on TV One. Find me somebody,' " she laughed.

Taping will start later this month, with the show set to premiere this fall, but, don't expect the show to be too similar to last season's competition.

"I think it's just different personalities, period," the Dayton, Ohio native said. "She's Omarosa and Toccara is Toccara. I think Omarosa's season was absolutely amazing, and that's one of the reasons why I signed up for this. I think I'm fun, outgoing, loud and spontaneous," she said. "I think these guys are going to court me and love me, and I just can't wait. That's my fantasy."

Toccara's last boyfriend was Atlantic Records President of Black Music Michael Kyser, who as of late has been rumored to be dating gossip blogger Necole Bitchie.

"Is he with Necole Bitchie?" Toccara mused. "I don't think he's with her, but he just told me that on the blogs they said that he bought Necole Bitchie some breasts. Does she have fake breasts? I don't even know. These people be making up these rumors."

Regardless of his relationship status, the buxom beauty still has a great deal of love and respect for Kyser.

"I think Kyser is absolutely amazing. Our relationship is and was absolutely amazing. He supports me in everything I do. Even with me doing this show now, he's very supportive to me as a friend, and I really value his advice," she revealed.

"He's my best friend. We talk about things. Even things that we don't want to talk about. We just have a really good relationship, and I think that's why I don't have any securities or anything. There's no need to. I'm single. He's single. He can date whoever he wants to date. I can date whoever I want to date."

When probed about whether she'd consider getting back with him if she doesn't find Mr. Right on television, she added, "I haven't ruled it out."

In her personal life, Toccara still manages to keep up with Banks "as much as I can" and a few of her 'Top Model' pals.

"Tyra is so much about her business and is so focused on her brand and everything, but she gives me great advice and is a great mentor. She never leaves me hanging. I love Tyra," she shared.

But she had no clue Tyra was currently enrolled at Harvard Business School.

"She's going to Harvard right now? She's smart, duh? She knows what she's doing," she joked.

"I think that 'America's Next Top Model' was such an amazing platform and opportunity for all the girls. I think we've all turned five minutes into an hour full of fame and have been very successful. Yaya [DaCosta] is doing her thing. She was just at my birthday in New York City and Eva [Marcille] is in L.A. and me and her still stay in touch, and she's wonderful," she said.

"But I think coming from where we're from, and of all the girls who have participated in 'America's Next Top Model,' and for you to be able to say YaYa, Eva and Toccara to stand apart from the pack is just absolutely amazing."

 

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Census Data Presents Rise in Multiracial Population of Youths


Internet Entrepreneur Bypasses High-Tech for Low-Priced With FreePhone2Phone

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The numbers that fill Warner Johnson's head shake him from sleep most nights.

There are phone numbers and area codes and long-distance calling rates to far-flung places like India, Slovenia and Hong Kong. Phantom phone calls to Mexico or Martinique ring in his dreams.

"I just can't help it," Johnson said. "It's my passion."

Johnson, 48, is a Harlem-based Internet entrepreneur whose model relies less on high-tech gadgetry and more on old-school simplicity and ingenuity.


His most recent creation is FreePhone2Phone, a telephone service that offers free 10-minute phone calls to any city in the United States and to more than 50 countries around the world on the condition that the user listens to a short advertisement.

Here's how it works: You dial a local access number that you can locate at FreePhone2Phone.com, you listen to a couple 10- or 12-second advertisements and then you dial the number you'd like to call.

At a time when unlimited cell phone calling plans can easily eclipse the $125 mark, and smartphones and the latest tablets require costly data plans for optimized use, FreePhone2Phone is somewhat of a technological throwback.

Its use and appeal hearkens back to the days when a few quarters and a phone book were all you needed to reach out and touch someone. And with the cost of gas prices, airline tickets and perishable goods rising for any number of reasons, millions of Americans concerned with everyday expenses can save anywhere from 10 cents to a $1 a minute off their long-distance charges.

At a time when unlimited cell phone calling plans can easily eclipse the $125 mark, and smartphones and the latest tablets require costly data plans for optimized use, FreePhone2Phone is somewhat of a technological throwback. Its use and appeal harkens back to the days when a few quarters and a phonebook were all you needed to reach out and touch someone. And with the cost of gas prices, airline tickets and perishable goods rising for any number of reasons, millions of Americans concerned with everyday expenses can save anywhere from 10 cents to a $1 a minute off their long-distance charges.

Johnson said the target audience for his service is broader than those with family or friends abroad, and includes anyone who wants to save money in these tough economic times.

"Imagine you could save money at the gas pump by simply watching a few advertisements. Who wouldn't do that?" he asked. "This is no different."

While the service is free, there are a few catches. Most overseas calls are limited to landline numbers. Each call is limited to 10 minutes, and if you try to call the same number a second time in the same day, the call is limited to five minutes.

But the number of free calls you can make in a single day is unrestricted.

Since the launch of FreePhone2Phone seven months ago, Johnson said users have made "millions" of calls and saved "hundreds of thousands of dollars." (He admits to using the service himself at least three to four times a day to call business partners in Latin America.)

His story is the stuff of pure Americana: boy with humble, middle-class roots follows his dreams, takes a few risks and finds himself along the way.

And that journey has led Johnson to where he is today -- a man on a mission. That singular mission has been to spread the word about FreePhone2Phone. Think an African-American Billy Mays, Tony Little or Ron Popeil in a pair of perfectly pressed slacks and a sport coat.

He tells the delivery guys schlepping packages up and down his block in Harlem about it. He tells the Indian and Greek waiters at his favorite restaurants. And he can't take a bag of peanuts from a flight attendant or tip a skycap without at least a mention of FreePhone2Phone.

"In the middle of the night, I'll check the iPad to see how many people on the West Coast are making calls to Asia or Europe," Johnson admitted. "India is really big. Mexico is huge, and people are calling Europe like crazy."

FreePhone2Phone is just the latest venture for Johnson, who spent much of the mid-1980s and early '90s working on Wall Street as an investment banker with Payne Webber. He is also the creator of the Website fabsearch.com, which aggregates travel articles from luxury fashion and travel magazines to help people plan where to eat, stay and play while on vacation.

His entrepreneurial impulses were nurtured at an early age, when he said his schoolteacher mother, keen to her son's motivations, offered some sage advice.

"Don't become a doctor," he recalled her saying. "You care too much about money to be a doctor."

So began his journey from a middle-class black neighborhood in Raleigh, N.C., where he was bused to integrated schools, to summer classes at the prestigious Phillips Academy, the elite prep school in Andover, Mass., and then to the Ivy halls of Brown University, where he studied history.

While at Brown, a friend introduced him to a program designed to give minority students access to Wall Street. Johnson said he took to that world naturally and, after graduating from Brown with a degree in history, went on to work as an investment banker. But after years of the stress and grind of working in finance, he felt stymied.

"I realized that working on Wall Street just wasn't for me," Johnson said. "I was following the book and I could imagine my life with success, but I just said, 'Why do it if my heart's not into it?' "

He recalled wanting to experience life beyond the tacky wood-paneled offices that he so often found himself in, where he consulted for many deep-pocketed businessmen with even deeper financial troubles.

"I looked at Ted Turner and he was a rock star to me," Johnson said. "Guys like that go out there and risk it." So he quit his job and moved to France.

"I learned French and partied my butt off," he said, with a bit of boyish mischief in his voice. "I decided to eat pizza and be an entrepreneur."

After living in France for a year and a half, Johnson decided to move back to the States, first to New York City's West Village neighborhood and then to Harlem. It was 1993 and Harlem had yet to gentrify.

"Police helicopters were still flying outside of my window," he recalled.

But he said moving to Harlem, the "mecca of black America," fueled his social and entrepreneurial juices. He was awed by the architecture and cultural richness of the place.

"It has made me so proud to be a black American. And you realize the strength, the commitment, the dignity and the patience of my people," he said. "But it also energized me to go out there and do things. I felt Harlem provided an open canvas for me to be able to pursue my dreams, and I knew that I wouldn't be judged one way or the other."

There were ups and down along the way, Johnson said. Companies he founded have both flourished and floundered. But the last few years with fabsearch.com have been profitable and full of successes, he said.

And word of FreePhone2Phone has been spreading quickly, he said, mostly by word of mouth. (Surely, much of it his own.) There are plans to extend the service to more countries and investors, and advertisers have been extremely supportive, given the tough lending and investing environment, he said.

Meanwhile, Johnson remains his company's best pitchman.

"Your grandmother doesn't know how to use Skype or Google Voice," he said. "But this is simple -- easy as using a prepaid calling card."

And he allowed that he is consumed by the need to spread the word about what he believes his product can offer money-conscious callers.

"This is my passion and joy," Johnson said. "I can barely go to sleep without telling people about this service."

 

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8 Signs the Relationship Is Over

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Who was the idiot who said, "If you really love someone, you never let them go, no matter how hard it is?" What?!? What's sad is this statement is not only untrue but, to many people, operate as if it's law. Granted, everyone makes a mistake or two in relationships, but successful relationships are structured for learning from the mistakes, not continually making them.

When you really love someone and it gets to be more than you can bear, sometimes you have to let it go, so you don't begin to lose love for self. Nothing is worse than loving someone to the point where you begin to deal and accept things you never thought you would, or the things you don't really want to.

Yes, there's something to be said about two people working through problems in a relationship. However, you have to be keen to when the relationship, in general, is the problem and/or you're the only one trying to work it out. Here are 8 signs that it is probably the best time to break it off and exit stage left.


1. You told a lie, or a secret is kept that puts you at risk.
Did she not tell you about that time in college when she contracted HIV, and now your health is faltering? Did he not tell you that he makes his extra money hustling drugs, and you both go to jail when the cops pull you over? Any lie or secret that puts your health or well being in harm's way is enough to send someone packing.

2. Everyone says they are no good for you.
Every person in your life, including your dog, doesn't like them. Your family has disowned you, your friends have shunned you, all after getting to know them and having valid reasons, and you may be letting love blind you.

Everyone isn't going to always like your choices, but anyone who loves you should respect them. These are the same people in your life who have known you long enough to know the good and bad, and have an idea when something may not be the best for you.

3. Your only focus in life has become your terrible relationship.
If people ask how you're doing and your first response is, "I can't stand my girl," then you're not in a good place. When a bad relationship consumes your thoughts to the point you realize it's really all you think about, and you aren't really productive elsewhere in life, you need to consider ending the relationship.

You have one life to live, and if you can't cultivate your dreams and goals because you're trying to maintain a relationship that does nothing but destroy them, it's time to move on.

4. Other relationships make you angry.
You just found out your best friend is getting married, and the first thing you do is tell them it isn't going to work. Being part of an unhappy relationship usually makes it hard for you to be happy for others in love.

If you find yourself giving friends bad advice, teaching young people to be jaded by love or always feeling anger/resentment when you see healthy relationships, you may want to end what you have going on.


5. Communication is nonexistent.
Do you think the best times with your partner are when you don't talk at all? Have all types of communication, including sex, ceased in the relationship? If two people can function in the relationship without even speaking or acknowledging each other in any way, you may want to talk about breaking it off.
6. Fights begin to hit below the belt.
We all know it's not uncommon for couples to fight. However, if those fights become increasingly more frequent or your partner begins to always say things that do irreversible damage, it may be time to throw in the gloves. People who love each other don't hit below the belt and say things like, "You would never make a good mother; that's why you can't have kids" or "You can be such a b**** a** negro sometimes." Whoa, strike out.

7. You're involved with a repeat offender.
Everyone cheats and everyone lies, and most times relationships can reconcile after one incident. However, when you make it a part of who you are and consistently behave so that you become a full-blown cheater and a liar, there is no room for these types in relationship.

They make it their job to remember their lying ways, keep lying so they don't get caught and disregard how the lies will affect you. In the long run, you are better living your life without them.

8. The only reason you're still together is because of time.
It's so sad when you ask someone why they are still involved in a toxic relationship, and the only excuse they give is all the time you have invested. If you're always saying, "We've been together for 12 years," stop counting. If 10 years out of the 12 you were unhappy because she cheated on you eight times, or he doesn't touch you anymore but to hit you, you may really want to consider other options. It's better to think about all the more positive tomorrows you may have single than all the terrible yesterdays you had coupled up. Let it go.


So do you need to end your relationship? Tell us!


Shirea L. Carroll is a journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post's TheRoot.com, XXL's Juicy and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she has interviewed some of today's biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog, Invite Only, or follow her on Twitter @InviteOnly to find out "who is and isn't invited."

 

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An Endless Love for Diana Ross Who Came. Saw. And Conquered

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In the seventies, my mother hated Diana Ross. Whenever the diva from Detroit, who turns sixty-seven today, appeared on television batting feathery false eyelashes and speaking in an affected voice, mom sucked her teeth and muttered, "I can't stand her; she thinks she's cute."

It wasn't until later on that I learned what served as the fuel to ignite the high disdain for a woman she never met: my mom's friendship with a Motown insider who shared shady gossip about working with Diana. At the time, I was too young to understand. In my innocent eyes, having introduced the world to the Jackson 5, as the Motown publicity department led us to believe, was reason enough to love Diana.

More than a decade later, when Diana moved to New York City and began hanging with painter Andy Warhol and his nightclubbing crew, I lovingly recalled seeing pictures of her in the gossip columns. Popping-up in paparazzi shots inside Studio 54 and on the cover of 'Interview,' she always looked glam while posing with the glitterati.

My fandom was untainted by Diana's supposed bad behavior. What did I care if she threw temper tantrums or tried to force the other Motown artists, who had known her since she was a funny-looking teenager from Brewster Projects, to address her as Miss Ross?

As a Harlem kid fascinated by Motor City boogie, bopping my head to Stevie Wonder and wanting to swoon like Smokey, I simply didn't understand the dirt that fueled mom's bête-noir. By default, since I usually shared her cultural taste, from B-movie horror flicks to the paintings of Picasso, my embrace of the musical and visual pizazz of Diana Ross became my first act of childhood rebellion.

Blaring WABC-AM before school, I secretly prayed that the disc jockey Harry Harrison played 'Touch Me in the Morning' or 'Last Time I Saw Him' (both from 1973) before it was time to leave the house. Much like her contemporaries Dionne Warwick and Marilyn McCoo (The 5th Dimension), the "penthouse soul" of Diana Ross was a whisper compared to roaring gospel-based sounds of Aretha Franklin or Tina Turner. But like silk flowing rhythmically across a woman's skin, there was something satisfying and comforting about the lightness of Diana's tone with its feathery texture.

Decades after The Supremes released 'Where Did Our Love Go' and 'Stop! In the Name of Love,' I'm reminded of watching Ed Sullivan's popular eponymous variety show religiously every Sunday night in hopes of getting a glimpse of her.

Her songs became imprints throughout my wonder years. The ghetto-centric swing of 'Love Child,' takes me back to my play sister Sylvia's ritual of writing out the risqué lyrics in her school notebook to pass the time when she was a child stuck in the hospital with rheumatic fever.

Released in 1968, the 'Love Child' was the title track from one of the first Motown releases to touch on social issues and one of their biggest sellers. The irony was, though Diana came from the same hood she was singing about, by then she was very far from that place. Thanks to the guidance of charm teacher Maxine Powell, she had transformed from rags (well, not literally) to pop royalty. After touring the world and meeting real monarchs, Diana got a taste of upward mobility from a view at the top. And there was no way she was going back to the 'hood. Instead, she embodied that "queenly" style and combined it with ruthless ambition to conquer the world.

Without question, she made more than a few enemies, especially with her old musical family including Martha Reeves, Gladys Knight and her own group members Mary Wilson and Florence Ballard. But as Temptations singer Otis Williams once observed: "The rest of us was (sic) just singers. We could live with that, but Diana couldn't."
In the cramped rooms of the original Hitsville studios, the reported tensions between her and the rest of the Motown posse often boiled over. It didn't help that many felt Diana received special treatment (private dressing quarters at venues, better hotel rooms on the road and more press coverage in the magazines), because she was linked romantically to Berry Gordy.

Though they were involved (Berry is the biological father of her first daughter Rhonda), it is too simple to state that was the main reason for her success. Fact is, if the world hadn't loved her, Diana would've just been another overexposed pop tart.

But as I grew up, staring at her pristine image on the covers of 'Sepia,' 'Ebony,' 'Black Star' and 'Jet' magazines, always dressed in some wild-styled Michael Travis/Bob Mackie gown, she was, to me, the perfect pop creation. There was always a beaming smile, a twinkle in her eyes and the clothes, though too ornate for mere mortals, always placed her beyond reach.

As many folks who bad-mouthed the "big eyed skeleton," as my friend Nicki once called her, there were just as many who were inspired. In high school, I knew a young woman named Virgie who had a photographic shrine to Diana on her bedroom wall and swore she was, "...going to be a designer, just like Diana Ross in 'Mahogany' (1975)." Years later, many young black fashion designers would admit the movie, and Diana in particular, once (and for some, still) served as their creative muse.

Without a doubt, from kids playing dress-up in the mirror to the homosexual community who adopted her sleek Chic-produced single 'I'm Coming Out' (1980) as their personal anthem, Diana Ross unquestionably represented a freedom that comes with being one thing: fearless.

That's why the skinny diva with the big eyes is still a winner, baby.

Michael Gonzales is a renowned New York City-based entertainment writer.

In celebration of Diana's birthday, we reminisce about her life-and its impact-through photos. View our gallery below.

 

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First Woman Vice Presidential Nominee, Geraldine Ferraro, dies at 75

Style Gallery: 42 Years of Mariah

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If you're noticing an usually high number of members of the glitterati set donning bejeweled butterfly charms today, it's with good reason. Today, one of the best selling artists of our time turns 42.

Beyond wowing the masses with her five-octave voice, Mariah Carey has thrilled and shocked us through the years with her signature body-hugging, midriff-bearing looks. So, to celebrate this special day, we've compiled as many photos as our beloved Mimi has years (plus a bonus pic) that showcase the diva's most noteworthy looks over the past two decades.

We've got the glamazon in vampy evening gowns, tiny minis, glittery stage pieces and tons of stuff in between. Take a walk with us through Mariah's fashion past.

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Cannon!

 

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President Obama to Address the Nation on Libya Monday Evening

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President Obama will deliver an address on the Libyan military operation Monday night.

The president will speak at 7:30 p.m. at the National Defense University in Washington, D.C.

The speech is designed to "update the American people on the situation in Libya," said the White House announcement, "including the actions we've taken with allies and partners to protect the Libyan people from the brutality of Moammar Gadhafi, the transition to NATO command and control, and our policy going forward."

We suspect most if not all the television networks will carry the address.

Members of Congress, including House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, have criticized Obama for not consulting them more before the Libya operation began Saturday. Boehner has also questioned Obama about the potential length of the engagement and what the administration plans to do to dislodge Gadhafi from power.

White House aides said Obama conducted a conference call with members of Congress. Throughout the day, aides also said that Obama would speaking with the public in the near future about the reasons behind the Libyan operation.

"He believes it's vitally important, it's part of his role as President and Commander-in-Chief, to speak to the American people about an operation like this," said spokesman Jay Carney.


Source: USA Today


Kevin Eason is a freelance editorial cartoonist and Illustrator from New Jersey. His brand of satire covers news events in politics, entertainment, sports and much more. Follow him on Facebook.

 

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Anna Deavere Smith Gets Funny

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Showtime's hit comedy series 'Nurse Jackie' starring Edie Falco returns for a third season this week, and brings with it Anna Deavere Smith, who comes back to play Gloria Akalitus, the old-guard, by-the-book ER administrator.

The Baltimore native and noted playwright, whose career spans more than 20 years and has included several critically acclaimed one-woman shows, such as 'Fires in the Mirror' and 'Twilight: Los Angeles,' is currently midrun with 'Let Me Down Easy' at the Philadelphia Theater Company.

The play tells the human side of the health-care story now unwinding in politics, by bringing to light questions about the human body, the resilience of the spirit and the price of care.

Smith recently spoke to BlackVoices.com about the joy of 'Nurse Jackie' returning to television.

"Oh, well, it's thrilling," she says. "You know, of course, the thrilling part has already happened, which is the filming of it. But I'm excited to see how audiences respond."

And even if Smith doesn't think she's as funny as more conventional comedians, she is quick to point out that her 'Nurse Jackie' character, Gloria Akalitus, is hilarious.

"I think she's funnier. More obviously funny," says Smith. "You know, my work that I do in the theater is considered so serious, because it usually has to do with social issues. Although there's a lot of humor in it. I was talking to Chris Rock at a Christmas party and he argued with me that I am funny. So if he thinks I'm funny, I guess I am."

With her appearances on 'Nurse Jackie' in the can, Smith is free to redirect her focus on 'Let Me Down Easy,' and the City of Brotherly Love.

"I love being in Philly. Last week the mayor of Philadelphia gave me the Liberty Bell, which is apparently the big honor. And this is a great city. It's clean. It's a great walking city. I think it's more affordable than New York. I mean nothing is in New York, obviously. But this city has got a lot of life and a lot going on."

'Nurse Jackie' airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on Showtime.

 

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How to Decorate With Throw Pillows

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Whether you're looking for a seasonal change or a fresh vibrant pop of color, decorative throw pillows are a great way to update your home's existing look.

One of my favorite home decor accessories, they are an excellent, easy and affordable way to accent your bedroom, living room, home office or any room in your home with minimal effort.

Not sure how to select the right pillow for your home? Use our guidelines for selecting throw pillows for adding visual interest and comfort to the room of your choice.

Throw pillows come in a large variety of colors, fabrics, shapes, sizes and patterns. While the options are endless, there are a few facts you should know before you select the size or choose a shape that complements your design and the style of your furniture.


SIZE MATTERS
Throw pillows come in a variety of sizes: square, rectangular, circular and oblong.
The size you select and amount of pillows that you display is very important. If you have an over-sized sofa, placing too few or small pillows can make the sofa look out of proportion. Likewise for large pillows on a small-scale chair, sofa or bed; they can look bulky and take away from the design and function of the furniture. So remember, proportion is key.

Use pillows that range from 18 to 24 inches if you would like to showcase the color or pattern. Oblong and circular pillows are fun because they add an unexpected touch.

ENHANCE WITH COLOR
When decorating with pillows the first thing to do is establish the look and feel that you would like to present in the room. Start with the color palette of your decor. Pick out one or two colors from your color scheme and select throw pillows that highlight those colors by going lighter if your color scheme for your furniture or bedding is dark, or darker if the color scheme is light.


ADD TEXTURE
Selecting the right pattern and fabric can be a challenge. Choose a pattern that best accents the style of your furniture and room design. If your sofa is a solid color, for example, you can select a striped, Damask, geometric or floral-print pillow. You can also mix small patterns and large prints to add depth and visual interest. If you are going for a more minimalist look, solid colored throw pillows in a textured fabric is a great way to add color and not distract from the overall design.


BE FREE WITH FABRIC
Consider your lifestyle and the function of your home when choosing the type of fabric for your pillows. If you have children and pets, select practical, durable fabrics like washable cotton, tapestry and faux suede that can be easily cleaned. If your lifestyle allows more decorative freedom, indulge in elegant silks, Mongolian Lamb furs, chenille and pillows embellished with beading, tassels and even Swarovski crystals.


PUT THEM ON DISPLAY
Display your pillows in groups of two for a structured, traditional look or in an odd numbers, like three or five for a contemporary or modern decor scheme. You can mix different shapes and sizes to create a unique look and add your personal touch.

The next time you're out shopping and you see a throw pillow that you absolutely love, bring it home. It can be an easy, low-cost starting point to your design scheme.

Always... "Experience Something Beautiful"

Kesha Franklin
CEO/ Design Specialist
The Beautiful Experience
Design-Events-Lifestyle
www.thebeautifulexperience.com

 

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When Should Celebrities Be Forgiven for Misbehaving?

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The notion of the musician behaving badly is nothing new to our society. We've seen artists addicted to drugs, those who abuse women and even those who've been accused of getting naked with little children. The public doesn't respond to every artist's poor choices in the same way: Some of them are able to pick right back up and keep going, while some artists are never invited into a music studio again.

The way the public responds to celebrity misbehavior is largely a function of the severity of the offense, the quality of the celeb's PR reps, the celeb's level of talent and the quality of all newly released music. When R. Kelly was accused of getting freaky with little girls, his words during his first interview with BET were very telling. During the interview, Kelly consistently repeated the words: "Just focus on my music, just focus on my music."

The motivation for Kelly's statement was simple: His team understood that if the public regained its fixation on his enormous talent, they would forget that he is also the man who has been accused of wanting to sleep with your child's classmates. The formula worked. After releasing a couple of jams that hit the airwaves hard, R. Kelly was right back on top without much of a hitch. Now, people will listen to his music all day long without wondering why there's a 13-year-old girl waiting for him backstage.

The criterion for celebrity forgiveness is once again up for reassessment after the recent tirade by Chris Brown at 'Good Morning America.' In what I personally believe to be a publicity stunt, Brown went bananas in his dressing room after being confronted by host Robin Roberts about the beating of singer Rihanna two years ago. The public seems to find Brown's antics amusing, similar to the way they reacted when Kanye West did the exact same thing right before his own album was released in 2009.

The bottom line is that when it comes to celebrities and athletes, almost any heinous act or crime is forgivable. Talent trumps integrity any day of the week, as the public seems to adore the phenomenal yet troubled superstar who needs his heroin in order to give a great performance. To some extent, it makes sense to detach personal judgments when evaluating the depth of one's talent, but the dangers of such simple-minded analysis can be problematic, especially for African Americans.

For the black community, many of our artists influence young people, especially in hip-hop. Kids dress, walk, talk and get tattooed in the same way as their favorite musician, for hip-hop and R&B permeate nearly every aspect of the black existence. If the artist promotes dysfunctional behavior, young people tend to follow suit.

The bottom line is that the only true crime any musical superstar can commit is to release a bad album. At that point, the punishments can be endless, for the public has little tolerance for mediocrity. But if you can sing, dance or act, the black community's insatiable appetite for greatness gives them an infinite tolerance for almost any indiscretion, no matter how heinous or vile it might be. R. Kelly, Chris Brown and even the late Michael Jackson are perfect cases in point, for decency is not a requirement to sell records.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your e-mail, please click here. To follow Dr. Boyce on Facebook, please click here.

 

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Hair Transformation: Oprah Winfrey

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The mega-billionaire that is Oprah Winfrey has been gracing our televisions for the last 25 years, and with each year came a more interesting hairstyle. As she says goodbye to her insanely successful talk show, let's take a gander at the many different looks she's given us over her run.

 

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Some Real Housewives We All Can Celebrate

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When I was younger, in moments of my most impertinent, most naive arrogance, I wondered why my extraordinarily intelligent mother decided to become a housewife. Why didn't she do more with her great gifts? It was Alice Walker's groundbreaking 1974 essay 'In Search of Our Mother's Gardens' that matured me on this subject. In homage to Phillis Wheatley, Walker writes: "It is not so much what you sang, as that you kept alive, in so many of our ancestors, the notion of song."
Walker taught me that my mother is an artist in her own right. Her choices were narrower than mine, and her decision to support her husband and children was a noble one. Now that I am a "wife" and often find myself shifting between doing author appearances and washing dishes, I understand that such delineations are complicated, at best. I also understand that the success of my entire family, especially my father, was afforded by my mother's sacrifices.
When I think of Women's History Month, I want to pay homage to women whose role as wives often eclipsed their own sweet songs. What about all of the women who lived in the shadows of their husbands?

When National Book Award-winning author Ralph Ellison died of pancreatic cancer in 1994, he was survived by his wife, Fanny Ellison, who went on to manage his estate until her passing in 2005. Coretta Scott King carried on Martin Luther King, Jr.'s legacy for 38 years following her husband's death. As head of the Jackie Robinson Foundation, Rachel Robinson has kept alive her husband's legacy by becoming a great humanitarian and philanthropist.
I do not mean to suggest that these women are not stars in their own right. Each woman I mention is uniquely accomplished, and most have gone on to emerge from their husband's shadows. Rachel Robinson had a distinguished career as a nursing professional. Shirley Graham DuBois, wife of W.E.B. DuBois, was a novelist and playwright. Lil Hardin Armstrong, second wife of jazzman Louis Armstrong, was a pianist, composer and bandleader and collaborated professionally with her husband during the 1920s. Amy Jacques Garvey, second wife of Marcus Garvey, was an accomplished journalist and author. Even my own mother became a respected small business owner.
Yet the line between wife and public-sphere professional can be a difficult one to navigate. Winnie Mandela, former wife of Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela, has experienced her own share of challenges in her public life -- a life that will be portrayed by actress Jennifer Hudson in the upcoming film 'Winnie.' First Lady Michelle Obama suspended a career as a lawyer and hospital administrator to take on the role of the nation's most public wife of all -- a role that has required her to re-imagine her contributions as a professional.
When we think of Black History Month or Women's History Month, these women's names are often hidden beneath the towering images of their husbands. Why not take a moment and admire them individually? Yet I refuse to stop there. This may sound a little old-fashioned; however, at the risk of offending my feminist colleagues and in the hopes of honoring women who toiled for years with little recognition, I venture to say that for these women, being wives is also an accomplishment in and of itself.
Dolen Perkins-Valdez is the author of Wench. Her fiction and essays have appeared in Robert Olen Butler Prize Stories 2009, The Kenyon Review and North Carolina Literary Review. To find about more about her work and to read her blog, visit Red Room.

 

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The Battle for the Black Woman's Womb

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Earlier this month a billboard was hoisted above the monied streets of Soho, N.Y., declaring that the most dangerous place for a black child was in his or her mother's womb. It was part of an ongoing campaign that started last year to shame sisters not only out of ever terminating a pregnancy, but into standing with the primarily white male funded anti-abortion movement. For good measure, they got Alveda King in the mix. Alveda is the niece of our legendary leader, a relationship she made clear when she spoke at Glenn Beck's rally last Aug. 28, a gathering widely criticized as racist and an insult to the magnificent King legacy.
Not surprisingly, in a city like New York, a counter-campaign went viral, and within 48 hours, the offending sign was taken down. We might have joyously embraced the victory if we didn't know the tally of our losses and the measure of the work that lies ahead. Across the black belt South and in other states, not only do these billboards continue to scream shame at us, but there is a fairly well-organized movement that is playing on us in one of our most vulnerable places: Our ability to mother our children, to make the sort of decisions for them and ourselves that will see them into maturity. Motherhood is a place more vulnerable for us than others in this country because they do not have the history of their children being stolen, sold away, lynched and targeted by police and the prison system.

Unlike us, white women en masse are not placed on a public dais and ridiculed when we're not completely excoriated as: the fat, dumb "mammy"; the lying, cheating "welfare queen"; the greedy-ass "gold-digger," who tricks men into making her pregnant; the pathetic, amoral "crack ho," who sells her baby for one more get high; the stupid, sneaky "baby mama," who spends the diaper money on acrylic nail tips. Black women have rarely been honored as the mothers so many of us have, as women who did with less yet often gave their children more.

We'll buy our kids clothes we can't afford; work two jobs a day every day; keep pushing; be the can't stop, won't stop in everyone's lives except our own to prove we are worthy of the label: Mommy.

So when the sign goes up that says, again, black mother, you are the danger to your child, I understand why we want to throw our hands up and testify, "No, not me!" I understand why we will do almost anything to throw off the coat someone else sewed for us. And why we do declare ourselves anti-abortion at times. But, more often, on the subject of abortion, we will be silent; our silence on the issue its own false testament to the fact that we love our babies.

But being anti-abortion is not synonymous with loving children. Sometimes the way to show your love is to choose not to have a child you cannot care for -- a factor often forgotten by those who are willing to legislate what to do with a woman's womb, but not willing to legislate affordable and quality housing and daycare; equal pay for equal work; a living wage; universal healthcare; or an educational system that is not a pipeline to prison.

Still, I know abortion is a topic that goes straight to the seat of most of our hearts, which is why the people who rolled out the billboard campaign used as its imagery the picture of an adorable baby girl. Never mind that they never asked the girl's mother permission, and apparently, the mother was incensed when she saw her daughter used in this way. That didn't matter because what was being sought was an emotional reaction, whether or not it was rooted in truth or ethics. It was, in short, a vulgar twist on the personal as political.

At the heart of my own feelings about abortion is my grandmother, who died alone because in the 1930s, abortion was not an option, and in her small town religious world, neither was having a baby in the months after her husband left her for another woman.

In this way, my own mother would become a motherless child at 4 years old, the age she was when my grandmother bled out in someplace now unknown to us, alone and scared. But at the core of my own familial pain is the question I would put to my sisters right now: What does control of our wombs mean in the hands of lawmakers who have not historically shown care for black women or our children? I'd wonder if our wombs, once again subject to production on demand, as they were during slavery, what might that mean, eventually, for the rest of our body?


asha bandele, whose most recent book is 'Something Like Beautiful: One Single Mother's Story,' lives, writes and raises her daughter in Brooklyn, N.Y.

 

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